You would think that, by now, I know the size and shape of me own shadow. It ain’t huge ‘n’ hag-like with horns, leering on we house walls in the dark like a long-teeth lech.
But the other evening, more like twilight, I almost jump outta me skin again. That big-boluptious hag been lurking as I slink past a bedroom door.
Nothing ain’t go rrrAAArrrghhh and bite me neck.
Only a puny shadow been trying to cower just like me.
“Ooops, hehe,” I giggle. “Sorry dear li’l shadow, it’s only you.”
Thinking about this incident later, joy and sadness grip me.
Joy because I am one with the world. I ain’t alone - this earth is crowd-up with cowards. In every corner, crack ‘n’ crevice, one is quivering.
There’s them that’s afraid of relationships, and stingy ones terrified o’ being poor; there’s them who think if they lose control, they gon fall apart. There’s cowards scared to speak up and cowards terrified of people seeing them less than perfect and cowards who like to terrify others; there’s cowards afraid to change their life; cowards scared to be different, who don’t dare harbour opinion different from the crowd.
These cowards, a lot o’ people take seriously.
In fact, if it wasn’t for these fraidy-cats, a lot of people wouldn’t make money.
The sad part is…I ain’t one o’ these.
I’s afflicted with the kinda cringing-minging-tiptoeing timidity that people don’t take seriously.
They roll on the floor and laugh.
I know this even when I ain’t there.
“When your mother was here, she was telling us about you and the rat…you should see how everybody was rolling on the floor laughing.”
Somebody in Florida who I love dearly report this to me over the phone, I ain’t saying who. I did notice, though she did try to sound serious, she voice had that certain wobble, when people’s laughing but trying not to show it.
I was really glad that she did tell me. It was then, that morning two or three years ago, after I hang up the phone, I decide to embrace me Inner Coward, to talk openly about she...
…to be continued…