Wednesday, October 19, 2011

What happens when toilet paper expires?

Huh?  Toilet paper does expire? 

Look good, look again.

Yes, there it is, in dotted print, on the white, above the pretty lilac picture.

FAB 08/06/11                  EXP 08/06/15

Wow, what gon happen after 08/06/15?  The loo paper gon turn to dry, brown leaf?

Rehana the cleaning girl want to know if it gon make we itch.

I say, I wonder if it gon crumble in we hands or fall to pieces when...well, let we not think about that...

Just around the day I discover that toilet-paper can expire, I read a piece o’ news that the bored would say is stale and ain’t relevant no more.  

Waste. Don’t mention that word to my cousin Dee who work for the wealthy in A Big Country Abroad.  She gon sit with she light-brown eyes in a daze, saying over and over, The waste, G., the waste. It is shocking, G.  Them rich people don’t wait for coats and thousand dollar shirts and dresses to get even one month old, she say.  They throw them away after they wear them two, three times. She does secretly sort out the clothing and give them to doormen, watchmen, maids, people in shelters.  One day, she take a blanket, carry she long-legged self across the street and give it to a soul shivering on the winter pavement.

Let we not get too righteous in poor countries though.  Fazal, gardener- tree-trimmer-grass-cutter-handyman say that in the gardens of the wealthy here, fruits grow plump and ripe and not a soul in the home does pick them.

Older folks though, them ones who grow up during World War 2, then survive post-colonial times, and soap shortages, flour, sugar, butter, toilet-paper shortage-times – does still say, “Nah waste.” Don’t waste.

While younger ones scoff.  Few years ago, I used to giggle when my mother wash plastic bags to use again.

But the hands of the news-clock is turning back.  And even the old bread plenty folks grab now.

In 2015, when the toilet paper expire, I wonder if by then the recession ‘round the world gon be done and waste gon come back. Or if the young gon be like the old.


john.g. said...

We, as a world squander so much!

Pat said...

The toilet paper is hysterically funny.
I'm one of the WW2scrimpers but when our children visit they are very critical of anything past its sell by date and some of them leave food on the plate which apallls me.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Pat, my mother tells me, Eat all your food, you don't know which part has your blessings. So of course, I gobble it all.

JohnG, if people live amongst hungry children, they might change their minds...maybe...?

Daddy Papersurfer said...

Tee hee heeeee *tries to wipe smile off face using fresh loo roll*

CG said...

You know that is one of a few things that appalls me. Being wasteful. One of my biggest one is,PLASTIC BAGS.
Please everyone, use your cloth bags. Thanks!

Mr. Nighttime said...

Yes, I agree with don't waste, but I don't think re-using the toilet paper is a good idea... ;-)

Kim Ayres said...

Perhaps the day after the expiry date, it will cease to be absorbant. When I was little I was always amazed at the toilet paper my grandparents had when we went to visit them. We used to tear off sheets and use it as tracing paper, but I think it could just as easily have been used as baking parchment. No absorbancy. Which seemed to be a considerable shortcoming for such an item. But it was always there. Even when we turned up unexpectedly...

Guyana-Gyal said...

Kim, I guess your grandparents' loo paper never expired...?
At one time, we had TOUGH loo-paper in Guyana, you could use it as writing paper, hahaha. Oh, wait, no, we couldn't, it was too rough.

Mr. N, you know what I'm thinking now...washing the loo-paper, ew eww ewwww :-D

CG, if you go to the markets here, the vendors INSIST that buyers take the veggies 'n' fruits in the plastic bags they provide, even if you have a basket. It's a battle of wills!

DaddyP, be careful, that fresh new roll is probably recycled tee hee heee hee heeeeee

Jihan said...

I found out colgate expires only the other day. I was using expired colgate for 11 months. Nothing happened to me that am aware of at least.

Did you know there is a proper way to put the toilet paper on too?

Guyana-Gyal said...

Jihan, that means your toothpaste can only clean silver jewellery now. I think. I just made up that one, haha.

The proper way to put the toilet paper is to place it on the tank, because it will be finished soon so why bother to

I'm too lazy to even finish the sentence, shees :-D

Jdid said...

well said

cadiz12 said...

i volunteered at a food bank and they said that the expiry dates are set for the worst possible conditions--like if you let the milk sit in a hot car all day or didn't refrigerate the item that was supposed to. then they cut even more time. you know, to avoid LAWSUITS.

we all do waste way too much. i used to joke around that the reason i was so interested in making things myself was to prepare for the next depression. that sentiment really isn't very funny nowadays.

Rosaliene Bacchus said...

Guyana-Gyal you are so funny:0 Your opening question brought a smile to my face on this gloomy Sunday in Los Angeles. Rehana's question made me burst out laughing. What an original approach to talking about waste in our world today! Kudos.

The comments here are precious. Thanks guys.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Rosaliene, thank you :-)
Haha, my mother [who was out of the country and has just returned, asked the same question as Rehana.
Even though it's sunny here, it feels gloomy, I don't know why. I can't imagine LA being gloomy!

Cadiz, depression or not, the things you make look so cool..well, the ones you've shown on your blog.
I have a feeling though that you'd make things just for the pleasure of making and giving.

Jdid, thanks...but where are you? How are you? Man, I miss your funny observations on life in Canada!

kfm said...

wash up wid wata, keep towel handy, separate from regular bathing towels, no need for the loo payper and if you go out..HOLD IT!! :0)

Guyana-Gyal said...

KFM, I want toilet paper that ain't expire, water, soap, the works :-D
Hold what?!!? One day, going to the market I needed to *go* and we don't have public loos here. So I came back home, hahaha.

kfm said...

hahaha, you see? you end up holding it til you go back home. I still dont like using public loos.

Keith said...

They even put expiry dates on bottled water and packets of salt, both of which have been around since the dawn of time.