Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Looking-Forward-To List.

At nights, ships with yellow-star lights does bright-up me horizon. I does paste meself to we windows as if that would get me more close, more quick to them ships and to the dreams they does bring for me. From them, I does unload mountains cover-up with mist, and cities where flowers bust-open and confetti-up the pavements, and trees hug-up the streets with cool shade.

During the day, I does watch ships climb up or go down that sea-sky place. On a hot day, the crystal water does dazzle so bright, it does tickle me eyes like how promises of love, success and happiness does tickle me mind. Then, I does want to jump up and create, make beauty with words, nature and thread.

When storm coming, the sea water does turn into a slate, and the heavy weather does press down them waves so hard, they can barely lift up themselves to write little white lines. Oh, what drama, what excitement me horizon does promise.

Always, me horizon is there, full o’ treasures.

Then I come home to shore and venture into town. There, concrete grow more tall than coconut trees. Plastic bottles and Styrofoam float in mukky-green canals and Water Street does bake your feet. I does scan me surroundings like a shopper looking for a special gold lamp which, when you rub it and make a wish, gon make every dream come true.

Recently, I search everywhere and couldn’t find that sparkle.

“I ain’t got nothing to look forward to,” I whine to meself.

A terrible dread seize me by me forelock. “What a frightful thing to do to meself, to make the garbage pile up inside instead of cleaning out the clutter, letting the canals and creeks and rivers flow clear, into me sea of creativity.”

There and then, I make a promise. I gon work on a daily Looking-Forward-To List that I can use right here, on shore.

If you got a list, dear Reader, I would love for you to share.

Sharing does help, y'know.

22 comments:

Pat said...

I was looking forward to our week in Fremington but we have had to cancel it.
Our son from France will be with us next week and on Monday the girls and I make our first visit to Margaret in Cheltenham. And I've two new books to read - both recommended by bloggers and I shall have a glass of wine in a couple of hours. There that's plenty to look forward to.
I love your description of the sea
'During the day, I does watch ships climb up or go down that sea-sky place.'

john.g. said...

Wonderful! I have a list; get up, read paper, do crossword, go to pub, come home, check e-mails, play poker, read blogs, put music on, snooze, eat, watch telly,play poker, bed!

The Cloudcutter said...

So beautiful and inspiring as always GG! Hugssssss.
I got to think about mine now. But how would it work as a daily list?

Plumpernickel said...

Making a List! Yes, of course!
1. Not feel sorry for myself
2. bake a lot
3. Add a plant every month to my garden
4. Not shop as much
Apart from that - Hugs Guyana. Always lovely to hear from you + read you.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Hi Plumpernickel, look at you, you're so pretty! Thanks for your list, it's helping, I will borrow [1] and [3] from you. I have some plants ready to be placed in the ol' garden too.

Cloud, I would love to read your list, maybe you can blog it? The daily list is perfect, every day, look forward to something.

John G, you're the best, your list shows me how simple daily things can delight. I look forward to having a cuppa PG Tips tea tomorrow morning!

Pat, thank you! Family, friends, books, a glass of wine, going somewhere nice, a glass of wine...in my case, a glass of ice-cold drink that I will make with fruits I've picked from the garden.

I'm looking forward to going to our teeny little zoo with a teen visiting from Eastern Europe, she's staying with her sister for the holidays, she's such a delightful girl.

CG said...

Having lunch tomorrow with 5 of my friends sitting in the restaurant chatting about everything on this earth. Having a glass of wine, shop for a bit, renewing my dog Samsuri's license and ending with a yoga class.

Guyana-Gyal said...

CG, how I want to learn yoga properly! The Indian Cultural Centre has classes but at times when I am working. I have a book, a detailed book, with a candle concentration technique. I fumble.

Friends. I look forward to hanging out with a gal, I teach her English, we seem to have a bit in common.

CG said...

You have to pay me a visit, or pick up my ticket and I will come to Guyana and teach you "properly"!
There are lots of DVDs available with detail info.
Today I teach yoga to patients with MS and Parkinson disease.

Guyana-Gyal said...

What interesting work you do, CG. Does yoga help those patients?
One o' these days, we'll meet, I'm sure! In the meantime, I'll try to get a proper DVD.

Anonymous said...

GG
I am using your blog to send a message to everyone that reads it. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO DO THE THINGS ON YOU WISH LIST.

I am recovering from my illness and I have a long way to go but all the things that I have put off I am going to do them as soon as possible. I have been given a second chance at life.

For those of you who don't know me here's my story:

On May 22nd I took my son to his t-ball game and I wasn't feeling well, my friend Charene told me to go to the ER and insisted that my husband(Eric Clapton:)) take me there.
The next thing I knew was that I woke up in the intensive care unit at Georgetown Hospital in Washington DC on Memorial Day after being in a coma and having a liver transplant. Prior to that I was a normal:) healthy adult. The wonderful docs that saved my life have yet to figure out what went wrong with me.
I also had a stroke on my right side.

I am thankful to be alive and being with my family.

GG say hi to your mom for me.

Love to everyone out there.
Exotic Gyal

sablonneuse said...

Every day I look forward to seeing the chickens and collecting the eggs.
They are fascinating creatures so I don't mind having to get up extra early to let them out and feed them and then go and put them to bed whatever the weather!
Of course, I still love my cats and look forward to having one or two of them on my lap each evening.

freegt said...

Here's my daily looking-forward-to list, GG:

1- The sunrise! I love the period of day between 5 and 6am when the air is cool and the place quiet- neighbors ent start blasting gully/gaza music yet, mothers too sleepy to holler at their children, and minibus drivers lead foot and horn hand still warming up.

2- Watching the animals. Every day the kiskadees come to bathe in the barrel of rainwater outside my window. A horse grazes in the empty lot next door, and mother goat and her kiddies gambol in the street. Observing the simplicity of their existence reminds me to not over-complicate my own life..

3- The witty comments of our fellow Guyanese. The snappy comebacks that people sling at one another, the way they'll mind your business even if they don't know you, the advice they dispense unasked.. I walk with my eyes and ears wide open and often see/hear something that gives me a chuckle and helps get me through what I have to do in hot sticky stinky GT til I reach back home to my sanctuary.

4- Finding/learning something new and interesting- could be online- your blog for example :), offline- a shady place to sit and read, a vendor who makes pholourie like my mom, a new author, etc.

5- Last but not least- hammock time! Every day. It's a must. I think 99% of all worries can be relieved by swinging in a hammock :)

Hope that helps!

moreidlethoughts said...

I am no good with paper lists. But my head is full of dream-lists!

(I lost your blog for a while cos I didn't remember it was sapodilla. Gotcher now, Gyal!)

cadiz12 said...

GG, i just woke up from a dream about slate-colored seas that were choppy from heavy weather. it was SO BEAUTIFUL. in my dream, i couldn't stop taking pictures, but never was able to capture it.

i'm looking forward to seeing all the beautiful babies all around me growing up!

Guyana-Gyal said...

Cadiz, that reminds of the dream I sometimes have of me, trying to catch a plane and always missing it. Makes me think that there's something in my life that I must do and I'm not doing.
Give those babies a lot of hugs and kisses now and they will loooove you forever.

Moreidlethoughts, I'm glad you found your way here again, the more thoughts, the merrier...you won't believe you all help me when you talk here.

Freegt, BLESS YOU! Bless you, bless you. Bless you. Thanks for the reminder, the humour, the counting of blessings, everything.

Sab, collecting eggs is fun, I remember doing it when I spent holidays at my nanee, feeling the warmth, rolling each in my hand before I put it in the fold of my dress.

Exotic Gyal, yesterday, my mother asked about you, if I'd heard from you, and I told her I will email you. I was even thinking of finding Mrs. R. to ask her if she'd heard anything from you.
I told my mother that maybe you and family had moved to another country and you were all busy settling in.
I will add you in my prayers. I am shocked and upset about your illness and I'm over the moon that you're still alive and well on the road to recovering.
Lots of hugs, lots and lots and lots. Please tell 'Eric Clapton' and Little Elf Boy to take very good care of you.

CG said...

My sincere love and best wishes to Exotic Gyal for a speedy recovery. BIG HUGS to you my dear.

MarytrMom said...

If we look, we usually can find someone worse off than ourselves......it "should" make us thankful. My neighbor just found out she has breast cancer. I'm thankful that I'm healthy.

it's not hard to look for the pony behind all that shit.......the problem can be finding it....I'm still searching.....I KNOW that pony is there somewhere!

GG your blog inspired my simple blog! THANKS!!

http://martyrmom.blogspot.com/2010/08/things-that-keep-me-happy.html


PS Exotic Gyal.....hope your good soon.

Hayden said...

gg - YOUR list, please? Did you think you could sneak by and make us confess while you stay mute? I don't think so!

lets see:
1) I look forward to new blogs by -- GG! Always takes me away to someplace new.
2) learning stuff. Almost anything is good.
3) this week - late in the week, when the hot spell is over again - I'm looking forward to being up on my tractor and getting the whole place mowed. Should take me about two days, not including the orchard.
4) all the unexpected conversations that unfold in the blog world - so many interesting people!
5) cuddling with little Jake and taking him out for a run-around. Good to see his happy smile!

and that's in trade for the post, but all you get until you 'fess up and share your own list!

Guyana-Gyal said...

Hayden, when I wrote this post, I couldn't think of much to look forward too, I really was in a slump! I wonder if it's like the land during winter?
Okay, here goes:
I look forward to re-editing my TWO manuscripts, finding agents.
I look forward to the mango tree being laden with mangoes [thanks to all the worms].
I look forward to my supper this evening - baked beans and toast [yes, I LOVE baked beans and toast]; and I look forward to walking on the seawall at 10 am one day, when the wind is as salty as ever but much cooler; I look foward to: writing some letters by hand; going to the art gallery soon; writing about the manatees I saw recently...there's so much to look forward to now!

MartyrMom, your blog is full of laughter despite the pain, it's full of examples of how to tackle those challenges, I wish more people read it.

Hayden said...

Well, GG, then we're even. I started my list with no idea of what to say either! My days just seem to float by. It's not that I'm not happy, I am. It's not that I'm not working towards a future something - I am. But the notion of "what are you looking forward to" raised in me a sense being a small child, filled with excitement and the the pressure of WAITING." And there isn't much of that in my day to day life these days, they're all mostly quiet moments.

There is one thing I'm looking forward to, but it feels like such a dream, and so far out there...

I'm looking forward to my orchard being filled with roses and lavender, plus seasonal bulbs and wild-flowers. I'm looking forward to it having a meadow where the swampy bit is, with a small pond. And I'm looking forward to a couple of picnic tables there, and a firepit ringed with stones to sit on.

I'm looking forward to my orchard becoming a proper U-pick orchard, loaded with apples, and a place for people to have a picnic when they've finished picking.

And finally, I'm looking forward to the smiles, and the laughter of children, as they learn what is possible on this beautiful, bountiful earth.

But oh, GG - that is a long ways out yet, and it's such an ache of longing in my heart that it's hard to even talk about it.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Hayden, your U-Pick, picnic place sounds so exciting, I've been telling others here about it. Interesting how no-one here has thought of doing something like that.

Truly, if we don't have anything to look forward to, apathy grabs hold of us. I think that's what's happened to a lot of people here...somewhere along the way, they gave up dreaming. In fact, people who think outside of the realm of 'normal' are considered weird here.

Hayden said...

Trust me, it's considered weird here, too! If there isn't a clear profit attached, it's weird. That's probably another reason I don't talk about it.

What's funny (to me) is that I think it could be quite profitable, and people would come here rather than other places simply because it's beautiful.

We all have a soul-need for beauty, but people forget and need reminding...