Thursday, November 05, 2009

Keep goin'.

I don’t know the size of Apathy, if she is a’ obese creature without shape, a thousand-ton, dark blob, plonk down, can’t move. Or if she is a long, skinny, bony shadow lying on the ground. Even if you call she to give she the most delicious meal, she ain’t got the energy to move. For a lifeless creature, she sure spread sheself around though. Every day I encounter somebody that she grab hold of. I feel as though she does try to ketch me too, sometimes.

But I got a secret weapon. I know that the fight against she ain’t physical.

And too besides, I have help, a gene-pool full o' fambly like Ma who used to push she cart with home-made drinks at the race course. Ma, my daddy ma, had 4 chil’ren to mind and a husband who couldn't do a thing for she no more even though he been not far from the race-course. Seeing as how he been lying six feet under, there was no way he coulda do anything for she.

Ma daughter-in-law, my mother, does fill me up with them tales.

Ma used to tell my mother how she push that cart and the sun blaze down, but she wouldn’t quit selling she ice-cold drinks to mind she chil’ren. And that was only one of she self-created employment. She had a li’l cake shop too.

When I feel like Apathy is trying to seize hold o’ me, a picture of Ma pushing that drinks-cart does pop into me mind and Ma does whisper, Keep on, me grand-daughter, keep on.


The Cloudcutter said...

This post has my name written all over it! I believe it's a message just for me. Thank you dear wise Ma and she lovely grand daughter GG.

Guyana-Gyal said...

You're going to think this is strange, Cloud, but when I was writing this post, you flashed through my mind.
I no longer deny that ESP thing.

The Cloudcutter said...

Yes, ESP is very real. Happens to me all the time.

Pat said...

I'm beginning to get rid of the Apathy that has held me back from doing a rewrite and I'm now getting energised and eager to get going - once I've finished what I'm doing.

Anonymous said...

Apathy is a big fat SLUG. The way the world is going that SLUG will be living in many homes. That's why I try to see the good and beautiful in the people and things around.
Did checkout Arjun Rampal, yes he is HOT but I still want to clone the paintah:))
Exotic Gyal

ieishah said...

my apathy is a lil man, a lil man wid beady eyes and a screw face and he arms fold cross he chest. and he does sit on my shoulder an' say, 'where *you* goin? you know dat wuh ya doin will neva work.'

and sometimes i listen. then sometimes i does hug he, and give he love (cuz he jus' look lonely) and tek him wit me, wherever i goin, and say, 'see? it can work.' an he does still sit on my shoulder an' scowl, but he does don' harass me.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Ieishah, you're good, you give him love...oh, I see, the apathy is a part of us, and if we give ourselves that luuuuve...well, it works, eh? Good gal.

Exotic Gyal, check out the movie Rock On with Arjun. Aiye yai yai. The world's a luuuuvely place with Arjun in it :-D

Pat, moi aussi, I need to do a little tweaking to my manuscript.

Cloud, I was even reading an article, how people can develop ESP further. Amazing!

cadiz12 said...

i have to be real careful that apathy doesn't just sit down on top of my legs and keep me from getting anywhere. but it's people like you're Ma and my mom who inspire us to keep hanging in there.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Cadiz, how do they do it? What's their secret? It's worth asking them how they coped / are coping with apathy despite the hardships. Maybe our generation has it too good, I dunno.

sablonneuse said...

Yes, you're so right. There are days when Apathy gets the better of me, too and I try to justify it by saying I need a rest. However, isn't it so much more satisfying when you sit down AFTER you've achieved something useful?

Hayden said...

you have good role models!

my mom? good in many ways, but not this. I think (in retrospect) she floated through most of her life in a cloud of depression, going through the motions. sad.

but I've always been pretty good at "knuckling down" and gettin' things done, except when that black cloud was hanging on my shoulder. But that was then. Now no more clouds, just a little fog now n' then.

when I start to waste time wondering which way to go I just remind myself that which way doesn't matter so much, going does. The path corrects direction once I'm on it.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Hayden, I'm sad for your mum, I guess they didn't have good treatment then, did they?
I admire people who can 'knuckle down' despite their depression.
Your last line reminds me of that song, we'll get there, heaven knows how we will get there, we know we will...

Sab, yes, it's like dessert. In the book, The Road Less Travelled, the writer calls it delayed gratification.

Anonymous said...

Saw the sad story in the news. Guess apathy was living in that young lady's house for a long time.
I taught her when she was in Prep A.

Imagine if our hard working nannies and mamas had given up so easily, where would we be right now??
Listen to Ma, KEEP ON.
Exotic Gyal

Guyana-Gyal said...

Exotic Gyal, I'm lying here thinking about the news, her family, how tragic it is. I know her family, we're sort of linked by families too.
The papers hint at depression... which is different from apathy...isn't it?

I didn't know you taught in prep school!

Guyana-Gyal said...

EG, I never knew a gal with so much gung-ho and get up and do like you! You're amazing [big beeeeeg smiles]. I'll never forget the story of the racoons.

Anonymous said...

Quote from Wikipedia
"John McManamy argues that although psychiatrists do not explicitly deal with the condition of apathy, it is a psychological problem for some depressed people,"
Guess one is related to the other.

I am still smiling big smiles at the paintah:)
Exotic Gyal

Guyana-Gyal said...

EG, here's what I think [and I could be wrong]'s not one size fits all...meaning - one of the symptoms of depression is apathy...but not all people who are apathetic about something are suffering from depression.

Most of us are apathetic about something or the other, either in our personal lives or with some situation out there in the wider world. This doesn't mean we're depressed. For example, a great deal of people are apathetic about the environmental issue.

Samjee? :-D

Anonymous said...

Ha jee. Shukriyaa:))