I felt the earth move...

Whole body shaking from head to toe, trembling inside-out, oh me Lawd-oh, I having heart attack, nervous breakdown, me head vibrating, swaying, I getting eye-turn…dizzy. I get up from the chair, cuss the chair, sit down again, vibrate again, get up, cuss the chair, my fate, my future, my past and present, I sit down, vibrate some more, run out to the living room.

Big strong house vibrating but not a sound you hear of a train or giant truck rumbling underground…I know this rumbling from the real thing I experience plenty times in the Caribbean Island. This trembling was eerie. No sound. Just silence and trembling. Thank you Santa, you big, clumsy oaf, leggoing…letting go of…a load somewhere, shaking up the land before Chrismus.

“Must be Venezuela or Trinidad,” my mother say.

Every time them two countries get a quake, we does shake baby shake.

“Venezuela think they can walk into we country just like that…” my mother say, referring to the incident that happen the other day when them Chavez-bullies shoot up in we territory, play wrong and strong and deny it or something like that. Huh, is a long, long time I warning that one day we Essequibo folks near the Venezuela border gon wake up and find Chavez in they bed, what a lover to wake up to. Ow, spare we, do me Lawd.

“Look, even their earthquake…if this is theirs…want to walk over to we land!” my mother say, relaxing in she rocking chair in the verandah after the tremor.

I phone Neighbour. She Husband answer.

“Neighbour Husband, I thought I was having a heart attack or breakdown,” I say.

Neighbour Husband laugh. He did know it was a tremor from the first vroom. As soon as he start to vibrate in he chair he remember a surgery he been doing in one o’ them Caribbean islands years ago. The patient start to shake on the operating table, moving to he, moving away from he.

“Anyway, I knew it was a tremor because of that experience in the island. So I went and put on all my clothes, I was wearing only a vest and shorts,” he say. “At least now I’m fully dressed if there’s a rougher aftershock tremor.”

Next, I talk to Annie on the phone. Annie say she mother thought she was getting dizzy spells. Poor auntie, she not too long come out from hospital.

“Annie, I thought I was having a heart attack or mental breakdown,” I say. Annie laugh and tell she mother. She mother laugh.

Annie say, “G, you think a tsunami coming?”

“Annie, I hope and pray not. Neighbour Husband say he check the ocean.”

“He check it? What it look like?”

“He say it looking alright.”

“G, I hope so.”

I don’t want to tell Annie how recently I been smelling the ocean a lot, that lovely stinky salty sea smell that make me want to go and lie down on a beach (under a tree), and slather me skin with sunscreen lotion. Annie might see the smell as a sign of danger to come, then she gon scare me and I gon can’t sleep tonight.

Talking to Annie I start to feel green in the gills again, head swingy and nauseous but I ain’t say nothing, everybody know what a bleddy, cowardly hypochondriac me is.

But thank goodness!

Two minutes later Annie complain of the same sick feeling.

Misery loves company.

But anyway, good friend that I am, I tell Annie I been feeling the same way too and I try to console she. She say ‘bye in a most distinct green-in-the-gills voice. Good friend that I am, I tell she the feeling gon pass, but I was secretly relieved, it ain’t just me, ha ha ha, it ain’t just me.

(Please note…this ain’t maniac laughter, hahaha.)

Fazal we gardener come to pick fruits from we tree and he say that all them folks in he area dash outta they house, hahahaha. He say he been riding he bicycle, and them electric wires start to swing, hahaha.

(Please note again…this is amused laughter, not maniac laughter.)

On the electric wire two doves cooing and snuggling. Them dawgs across the road start to howl. Because a ambulance pass and holler. That is the only time they does howl, when they hear a siren.

“Well I never! Them animals ain’t give no signal that this thing been coming, how we gon trust them for real emergencies, eh?” I ask my mother.

“They musta been more scared than anything else.”

I smelling that lovely sea-stinky smell again.

I wonder if I should call Annie and tell she.

Friday, 10:41 a.m. Reactions coming in now, varying from place to place.

Construction guys up on a scaffolding (who call to gyals daily like bold macho dudes) scamper down like frighten ants and work done for the day, they ain’t going back up there, eh-eh, not them at all, at all.

Rehana, cleaning girl, say she thought she hubby dawg been rubbing up heself on they house post, shaking up they home.

Nathaniel, brother friend, say, on Regent Street people run out and holler, The Lawwwwd is coming, the End is here, Repent, Repent.

Remember to wear all your clothes now, best friend say.