Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Letter to Opportunity

Dear Opportunity,

I writing you to let you know, you can’t keep a good gyal down. You think I don’t know what you up to? You who come knocking and then run away like a li’l bad boy who ring people bell and run.

Well, I ain’t waiting for you no more...as a matter of fac’, I ain’t even answering your knock. I gon just make the best of what I got.

First, I gon examine what I got. Plenty mosquitoes at night after a li’l rainfall in the day.

Ha. You think that you, Opportunity, gon stop me from working by sending mosquitoes to jook me poor delicate self? Let them bite, man, let them bite. When they get fat and full up with blood...splat...I kill them dead. Then!


I gon save them in a bottle and sell them as goldfish food. Al Gore gon be proud of me. No carbon emission happening here. Bill Gates gon be proud of me. I cleaning the world, getting rid of things that spread sickness. G8 gon be proud of me. Third World gyal trying to build life in country that get debt-write off.

Now, next thing I got. Blackouts. Yesterday and the night before we had long ones.

You think you gon send blackouts to stop me, eh Opportunity? You just wait. When I find a way to market blackouts Abroad, I gon be rich, rich, rich, and you gon be the one begging me to knock at your door.

Put that pepper in your pot and make pepperpot, Opportunity.

Yours merrily, G.G.

28 comments:

desert rose said...

We currently having some problems with the gas stations in Ontario. Two refineries had some problems and now gas prices are rising and some gas stations out of gas.

It mek me remember lineup(guyline) for gas in Guyana.

Olivia said...

"Put that in your pot and make pepperpot"

Did you make that up, or is that a local saying for optimists?

Nice to see you around again, GG :)

ML said...

Oh rant, I never thought about bottling mosquito. We used to do the same thing with dem fat, fat blood filled mosquito when we were small. However, never thought about bottling them :)

guyana-gyal said...

Olivia, pepperpot is an Amerindian stew, but the phrase is mine :-)

Desert Rose, I just realised, you're from here originally! Make the most of those gas shortages, take a donkey to Ontario and offer rides :-D

guyana-gyal said...

See ML? Live and learn I say, live and learn :-D

bakannal said...

keep on keepin on luv.

ale said...

i'm proud of you too! :)

Damian said...

TV blaring, radio shouting, lights burning into you, computer beeping in the background - try Blackout (TM): a new alternative to life's stresses.

New Blackout (TM) comes in three different sizes, to suit the needs of you and your family:
- mini blackout - 45 minute
- standard blackout - 1.5 hours
- long blackout - 3 hours
- the long night - 6 hours

Simply call 1800 xxx xxx to request your blackout. You can pay by credit card over the phone, or pre-pay up to ten blackouts at a time to save up to 30%.

What our customers say:
"I like to have my boyfriend over for dinner, and pre-order a long blackout to arrive shortly after desert. We light some candles and tell stories until my mother falls asleep - then it is just us. All alone in the dark. And of course he wouldn't dream of going home to leave me in the dark. It's lovely!" Mrs G Gyal, Georgetown, Guyana

"We like or order a long blackout about once a month. We have a barbecue, and light some candles. We tell stories until the children fall asleep. Then it's just my husnabd and I. We always go to bed early on blackout night!" Mrs Bernadette Sinclair, Ouagadougo, Burkina Faso

"I like to order a blackout then go out shooting rabits." Kev Murray, Coolah, NSW, Australia

"I find that a mini-blackout is perfect way to get the children to move from the computer to the dinner table. I have a standing order for 7pm every weeknight." Tired Mother, Dalston, London, UK

Blackout (TM) another sterling idea from GG Industries.

Damian said...

Does anybody else ever re-read their comment and wish that they could go back over it and correct the spelling?

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

I was thinking that you could market those blackouts to the countries most affected by light pollution. 'Want to see the stars again, the planets and the moon? Genuine Guyanese blackouts for sale - the blackest, darkest blackouts in the world.'

beenzzz said...

GG, you make me laugh!!!! I too think that Al Gore will be proud and Bill Gates too. You will be an international hero! Kick that teasing, bad boy opportunity in his behind.

R2K said...

: )

Caroline said...

GG I wish you lots of luck to counteract all this not so luck!

Robin said...

blackouts, so romantic, all those candles, a proper fire in the grate and inventing ways to make a cup of tea
lower bills too!

Cream said...

Well, Gigi, I think you are going the right way about things, bottling mosquitoes and marketing blackouts.

Rockerfeller: "I always tried to turn every disaster into an opportunity!"

If at first you don't succeed...

guyana-gyal said...

Aha, Robin, I can sell blackouts to couples. Save your relationship, etc etc...

Caro, I keep hoping that it's not luck I need, that it's all about making the best of what I have.

:-) R2K

Beenzzz, do you think they'll give me a free solar-powered Apple computer? Hoooooray.

Damian and Zinnia, HAHAHAHAHAHA I laughed 'til I almost...
Let's run this business together, you two can be CEOs for Blackout, Abroad (TM). Don't worry about the spelling Damian, your ideas will dazzle consumers.

Ale, it's Sempre Primavera everywhere :-D

Bakannal, if I sell lots of blackouts I can buy lots of tickets to cricket.

guyana-gyal said...

I just knew it, Cream, see, even Rockerfeller agreed with me.

DaveM said...

The UK had blackouts way back in the 70's in the days of the Heath government and the 3 day week. It was very romantic, in a pub, having a beer with your mates.

Olivia said...

Dude, GG, I know what pepperpot is, we'd make it every Christmas and Easter!
Someone was always able to bring jars of casareep over from Guyana.

Anna said...

There is a good thing about blackouts---less mosquitos when the lights are out!

Hayden said...

what is happening here, gg? I post and you can't read, you post and I can't comment. Trying again, as I have several times before.

want you to know I'm reading, laughing, cheering you on!

Guyana-Gyal said...

I dunno what's happening Hayden, I can only see a few of your photos, and can't see a thing you've written.

Anna, they're worse in the dark here, ooh, I can kill 'em and catch 'em then, I must get a battery operated mozzie zapper.

Mmm, Olivia, my mother made pepperpot with pakoo [monk fish] for me. It was deeeelicious. I love monk fish.

Heh, Dave, I was going to ask if the population rate rose then, but you say everyone was in the pubs.

PI said...

A long long time ago when you were a very tiny little girl there was a blackout in New York and the birth rate trebled. Soo GG your hand out black outs may not be so popular. But you are honey!

gishungwa said...

GG, May i please have a standard blackout every Monday morning at 8am so that work starts later and while we at it let me have another on Friday so that i leave earlier. Charge that to my card and also make the fuel prices higher so that we cant operate the generator. Great to have you back...
As for opportunity, ma says that if opportunity don't knock on your door you have to got o the street and drag him in... i wonder why she thinks he is a he LOL

Dan Flynn said...

G,

I had a blackout the other week, bought it from a door to door saleswoman. I keep it in a cupboard under the stairs so it won't fade and you know what? Whenever I open the door it's as black as anything in there. She said it would last a long time. Blackouts can be delicate though as I discovered after trying to store it in the fridge. Open fridge door, little light comes on and poof, blackout gone. Cupboards that aren't opened very often seem the best place to store blackouts. At least in my experience.

Only thing to work out now is what to do with the damn thing. Unfortunately it's only a small blackout, a couple of feet square so not very practical for looking at stars, providing ambience for BBQ's etc. Hope the woman visits again soon so I can buy something in a larger size.

Stephen Bess said...

lol!! :) I like that.

Score card:
Opportunity: -0
G.G.: 100+

Guyana-Gyal said...

LOL, Thanks Stephen.

Dan, you sure you want a larger one? What would you do with it? I can send you a large one for free, but really, I don't want you to have any for purely selfish reasons...you won't be able to blog and I will miss you.

Gish, your ma says the same as me...you have to go and find him. It's a him because he's inconsistent, hee hee. Ooooh, I hate generators too.

Hehe, PI, I have a feeling that many will love the blackout times, we can dole out free contraceptives with every purchase of a blackout.

Ariel said...

Hey GG, you've already marketed your blackouts to my little corner of the UK I can tell. Electrics blow all the time, more than three appliances and pfffft, gone. Power cuts happen regular, every four days or so. The oik tells me it is because the electricity meter has run out of money, but I know, I know he's fibbing. You've been selling him black outs fair and good you have. You prankster you.