Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Wild things

I was telling my brother about the time Cousin Analis, she husband and she friend Jaya went to rainforest land, Iwokrama. They hike up a mountain and the young Amerindian guide say, “Shhh, stop…wild hogs in the bush…go back slooow…”

My brother snicker, “I bet he say that to add li’l spice to they trip.”

We mother say, “He musta smell them. Oh Lawd, them things stink! Nothing can’t stink more than them…I see them in London Zoo…”

I swear them crickets in the night raise they volume in agreement, “Eeka aaka nothing can’t stink eek more than wild hogs, aaak…”

Brother snicker. “Aiye, when cha-cha Deen describe them things running through bush, he say you can hear them crunching awara seed and all.”

Well! I don’t know if I believe that! To crunch awara seed a animal got to have jaws of steel…awara seed, hard and black, make outta material tougher than kryptonite.

Brother say, “When cha-cha describe wild hogs running through the bush, he say they cut a clear, clean path for miles better than a bulldozer…snakes, all them animals, fly outta they way. If you get ketch up in a tree and they down at the bottom, you better know how to jump from one tree to another to get away ‘cause they does dig down the tree with you in it.”

“You know about the time with cha-cha Deen and the wild hogs?” I ask.

Was in this same ol’ verandah cha-cha tell we that story.

It happen in the sixties, in the civil disturbance times, when he used to plant rice. He and he other rice farming friend, Papo, venture into the bush with they cutlass to get stick to make fire, to cook. Them older men give them the rifle with one bullet only.

“Use this only if somebody attack you,” them older men warn.

Cha-cha and Papo clear bush, cut dry stick.

“Heh, you see when me make so and stare into a bush!” cha-cha say. He bend down to demonstrate how he stare…then stop in horror. “Me see some eyes watching me, they red like fiyah! Me holla, run Papo, run. If you see fat, fat Papo run, he foot them nah touch ground. Me climb one tree and holla, climb Papo, climb. Hehehe, poor fat, fat Papo, if you see how he struggle. And down at the bottom them hog going grunkkk grunnnnk…”

Cha-cha decide this ain’t healthy at all. He had to do something to save he and Papo. Pow. He fire off the one bullet. Them hogs take off for the other side. Phew. Cha-cha and Papo head back to camp.

“When we tell them older men what happen, how they quarrel. Why you fire off the gun? They say, bullets precious, you can’t use them for any and everything. All you had to do was clang the flat side o’ you cutlass on a tree trunk, make one loud noise, them hogs woulda frighten and run ‘way.”

Like I always say, don’t come to Guyana for the nightlife. Come for the wild life.


Stephen Bess said...

I saw a special about Wild Hogs. The program said that they were brought here from England. I heard that they are pretty mean. Great story as always GG.

larry h. said...

Reading your post about the Strand brought back some memories about my days with the Crescent cinema in Linden. Aye, Jim Kelly always seemed to get the brunt of things in all those movies. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing ... they made scary horror movies. Not the Hollywood teenie scarefests that push out today that barely makes you break a sweat. I saw the ad for that movie Guiana 1838 on the telly about a year ago or so. I've heard a lot of good things about it. I've got to see it. How's everything over there, luv? I guess you're soaking your fruits in brandy as you prepare for Christmas. As to the stuff about wildlife ... I had my share back home in the form of snakes. I'll pass on it. Well ... except for parrots and macaws. ;)

Caroline said...

Hogs that stink? Sounds icky... would I want to get within sniffing distance?

PI said...

We have wild hogs on Exmoor. True they were escaped captive ones but you wouldn't want to meet them on a hike. The other danger is stags in the rutting season - like now!
And the night life is rubbish - we're all in bed before dark!

beenzzz said...

I bet dem hogs so stink! Been a while since I had any wiff of Guyanese wildlife, but I know that some of them can stink like the dickens.....like tapir. YUCK!

cadiz12 said...

wow, your cha-cha sure has a way with wild things. but from what i've seen on "Lost," i wouldn't want to be tangling with any wild boars, either.

Dr. D. said...

We supposed to have dem wild hogs in Ja as well, but I never seen much less smell one. Guess I really don't venture where they dwell...maybe is a good ting....

zoe said...

we have hedgehogs .....

Kat said...

Wild hogs are so scary, their eyes really do look red and stupid. Great story!

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

No nightlife where I live, and no wildlife either - apart from small shy things (rabbits, hedgehogs etc). I'm fine with that.

Modern Viking said...

Ha! I think that kind of wildlife is a good reason to stay away from Guyana!

Essequibo said...

Peace, Gyal: Come for the wildlife indeed. I loved this post. Naturally, I spent my years in town relaxing away from wild hogs and such...but it was like I was there - your writing is always so vivid. I love it.

And Lawd Awara seed hard fo' true...and don't get none of its orange flesh on your clothes either. I love it. Peace.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Peace to you too, Essequibo. Did you make tops with the awara seed? It's an art, apparently. Did you play marbles with them? There are 3 games.

hehehe Viking... did you see Ol' Yeller, the movie? Brazil has them too.

Zin, after what my brother has said about London, I told him I ain't going there!!! :-(

Kat, the closest I ever came to a wild hog was on my tv, watching Old Yeller.

Just don't sit on them, Zoe :-D

Dr D, I never knew that, and I thought I travelled up and down, all over Jamaica.

I've never seen Lost, Cadiz. Were they really? Tangling with wild boars? Lost should come to Guyana.

Tapir ain't too bad, Beenzzz...but most wild animals are stinky.

Stag in rutting season, Pat? I'd have thought they'd be too busy rutting to bother with people.

Well Caro, there's the harpy eagle, magnificent creature...and the otters...they are adorable.

Man LarryH, you always make me nostalgic for them days back then. By the way, if you could see Linden now! People tell me it is so developed, big houses and so on. Life is so peaceful now, apparently the flights to here are pack, scores of folks abroad coming for Christmas. Wow. It's going to bubble.

Oho, so the American ones were brought from ye olde England, Stephen. Could be the same here, hm, interesting.

Olivia at Work said...

I know, why didn't they film Lost in Guyana instead of Hawaii? Then they wouldn't have been terrorised by just polar bears and wild boars, but jombies too. For real.

ML said...

I bet them hogs stink man!! Funny story.

Hayden said...

I think hogs are everywhere now, and wild everywhere too. Smart critters, crafty - they may look stupid, bu† never believe it if you see one!

Hayden said...

I think hogs are everywhere now, and wild everywhere too. Smart critters, crafty - they may look stupid, bu† never believe it if you see one!

Mary said...

I'd be staying away from them.

Heimdallr said...

I'm not good at climbing trees in a hurry GG but would hate to miss out n that rainforest trek ~ I have heard that wild boar is pretty good eating though. :p Great story!