Dear Car Manufacturers Abroad,
I notice in them ads on tee vee that when you test you cars you test them in very sterile conditions, in cool, spacious grey rooms and you have air bags and all sorts of unrealistic things.
Well Dear Car Manufacturers Abroad, I challenge you to come and test you cars in Real Life Conditions.
Come to a place what got potholes so huge that even if you gear down into first gear and go slow slow slow, you car rock up so much that all when you go to sleep that night you brain still a-knockin’ and a-shakin’ and you still hear clink clank clunk.
Yes, come to a place where potholes so wide they go on for big stretches ‘til they join up with other potholes. Some potholes so deep you can’t call them potholes, you got to call them cauldron holes.
Huh, talkin’ about holes, I ain’t gon even tell you what ---holes we call them who drive mini-buses and taxis, no no, I can’t tell you, decent people like you might blush.
Dear Car Manufacturers Abroad, if I scare you off from coming here to test you cars, maybe you can send me a car? I gon test it for you.
A nice, zippy BIG red car gon do me just fine…big yes, can’t let it sink and stay in a cauldron hole…send a car with a really good A.C. unit to keep me cool ‘cause the place so hot I seeing mirage all over the place. Yes, mirage…I swear I see traffic lights not working. Not one, not one around town. And I swear I see vine growing on one light. Must be a mirage because the place so hot.
Okay Dear Car Manufacturers Abroad, I await your reply patiently.
Thoroughly shook up after driving into town a while ago [my brain still going kadang kadang],