"Them stones grow!"
Me mother voice sound bemused, full o' wonder.
This was Monday morning. Me mother just come back from examining she garden, and we sit down quiet, quiet now, reading the newspapers. So I thinking is some strange piece o' news she imparting to the air, got to be the air, 'cause is the air she staring at, not at me. She eyes open wide, and she mouth in a 'oh'.
I scrunch up me face and ask, "Eh?"
She say, "Y'know how people does say stone does grow...?"
"People or Guyanese?"
"Ahhhh man, Guyanese, people...whatever...y'know how people does say stone does grow?"
"Ptttzz," I tell she.
"Them two stones under the cashew tree grow. Them did li'l, li'l so." She hold out she hands to show a stone size seven inches.
Now...I got to tell you, me mother know she history, world history, geography, things that plenty people don’t know, that buried in encyclopaedias. She know science, she know books, she got a cupboard full o' literature, six shelves, and each shelf got books three layers deep.
I start one piece o' laughing and pointing me finger and shaking it at she and saying at the top o' me voice, "I. Can’t. Believe. That. You. Of all people. Can. Say. Something. Like. That!!! Oh my gosh!!!"
Y'know, she face ain't show even one ounce o' shame. Not even one lilogramme o' shame.
She say, "Go and look, you gon see for y'self, them two stones grow. Me coulda lift them before and now them so big me can't even budge them."
And you won’t believe this.
I like A Fool went and look.
Under the cashew tree I look.
Two humongous stones sitting there, round and dark grey with li'l bit o' moss, king size stone and big-queen size stone, one foot by one foot wide.
Me first thought was, oh crap, them stones grow for true. Then, what happen to the two smaller stones? Then, you damn fool, you don’t even remember if two smaller stones been there before. Then, them two big stones been there all the time.
"Them two big stones been there all the time," I laugh and tell me mother.
"No," she insist. [She is a stubborn lady]. "Them stones grow."
Tuesday I say to Kamla the cleaning lady, "You ever hear stone does grow?"
"Yyyyes," she say. "Stone does grow."
"You ever see a stone grow, Kamla? You ever stand and watch and see a stone grow?"
"No, but me hear people say stone does grow. And them does grow for true."
Gabbagabba...yie yie yie yie...mnnngg mmnngg...gaahhh...If any o' you come to Guyana and see a Gyal staring at stones and gibbering, is me.