Good news, good news!
Fun and Games Plan in this rain forest country getting hot, hot, hot like camoudie snake on a bar-b-que spit. It sizzling, man, sizzling.
If you see emails I get from all over, people from Germany, Switzerland, America, England, countries what names I can’t spell or pronounce, all body want to take part in this tour for masochists. And from Guyanese too, Guyanese what living Abroad and ain’t been back here since the ancient silk cotton tree in the middle of the road to Mahaica fall down, and grow up again, and get old again.
Even aged grandmas who walking with they back bend like Capital ‘C’ from too much cold weather, they too want to jump in. The only problem is, these grandmas refusing to be masochists. They want to be Doms. Dom Grandmas…no, not Dumb Grandmas…Dom…as in Dom.
They want to be Whip Crackin’ Granmas, lashin’ and whippin’ we Dom [as in Dumb] Mini-Bus Drivers and Dom [as in Dumb] Young Men driving fancy cars.
[Got to think ‘bout it. I just might let them grandmas do it for free.]
In the meantime I come up with Something Special for the kiddies. Can’t leave the kiddies out, CAN’T leave the kiddies OUT.
And so I offer the Vampire Slaying Deal.
While masochist parents gone out for the night to get soundly trashed on the road, for a extra half price they can leave they kiddies safely with a child minder in a well-lit room and hundreds o’ Blood Sucking Mosquitoes!!! Just like what they offer in them tourist hotels in the Caribbean…parents can have Fun Times without the bother of kiddies.
The game? Them kiddies can catch and kill as much mosquitoes as they want to. Each kiddie gon get a glass bottle to keep they dead mosquitoes as souvenirs.
[Sorry, yes…glass bottles not plastic. We here very particular about we landscape, we like to see we plastic bottles lurking in we canals, and plastic bags sproinging in we grass parapets like big, flooby flowers. Sometimes we does like to watch them bags floating in the sky like big, flooby birds].
This Vampire Slaying Game for the Kiddies got so much benefits, is well worth the li’l extra money.
Y’know how parents Abroad does worry that tv taking up too much o’ they kiddies’ time? Well, this here game is purely Non-TV. Is a Educational Experience Incorporated With Play. Along with the fantabulous new knowledge that your kiddie gain ‘bout Dracula’s Children, your li’l couch potato gon get Exercise, jumpin’ up and down, ketching them Dark Things on Wings.
[Heh...sound like something on tv, eh? Dark Things on Wings].
Your li’l boogers gon develop Hand-Eye Co-Ordination...See, See, See. See them Dark Things on Wings, Catch them in Mid-Flight.
But hear the best part!
When your kiddie go back home Abroad, he or she gon be taking back a myth-breaking icon. Folks Abroad does doubt that vampires still exist. They think is some creature that used to flit around in the head of a man what name Bram Stoker.
Well, when people Abroad see them Dark Things on Wings like what we have here, all doubts gon fly out from they own grey matter.
And your kiddie gon be a Cebrelity.
Yes, yes, a Cebrelity.
Your kiddie gon be on TV, in the Newspapers, the Media gon pay the kiddie for he or she Story, pay your kiddie to share News-Breaking News of how Dracula descendants living in rain forest country, and how they got different kind o’ powers now, they spread malaria, dengue and so on now instead of doing the decent thing like what they used to do, turning people into vampires.
What more a M. parent can want?
Cebrelity Kids! All because of a li'l jaunt in rain forest country.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Fun and Games For The Kids.
Good news, good news!