Sunday, June 12, 2005

Eyepass!

This is real Eyepass!!!

Yes, Eyepass, Guyanese word for Disrespect.

Impertinence, Insolence. Impudence.

Rudeness, Impoliteness and Offensiveness.

A few days ago I decide to start a One-Woman Enterprise to bring in Income [alright, alright, euphemism for ‘to get rich quick’]…and to bring Attention and Tourism to we beautiful rainforest country.


[See
here and here for me ideas so far].

The second plan, Vampire Slaying Deal, as you can see, is a very sensible one. While them foreign parents gone out to have some fun, them foreign kiddies can be in a safe environment, and they can swat mosquitoes to they hearts’ content, learn mosquito history, and take them home as souvenir.

Now! Everybody know that mosquitoes bad, right?

Inhumane...merciless, right?

They spread things like dengue, malaria, Nile River Something, Ross River Something…fever, chills, ague.

So logically, you would think that a creature that harming people deserve a good swatting, right?

Ha!

Them mosquitoes now think them have Rights, just like we bandits here what some actually believe is Human and have Rights.

Look, just look at THIS dreadful correspondence I get this morning.


Dear Reader,

In fairness, as blood is thicker than water, this reply is required.

If we are further provoked we cannot rule out taking industrial action.

We believe 'the right to bite is immutable'.

Affiliates of Mosquitoes International remain firm in their solidarity.Our chant on the swarm lines is 'the mosquitoes, united, will never be defeated!’

Sent with the ravenous appetite of our sisterhood from your ever-buzzing brethren Down Under.

Yours Surreptitiously,
Ozzie the Mozzie

PS To all humans:We are organised and thirsty, so you can swat 'til you drop!

Now, tell me if this ain’t Eyepass?

I gone to think about Plan of Action.

[Y’know, I seriously thinking o’ offering this Vampire Slaying Deal for FREE.]



9 comments:

Sarah said...

I haven't been able to read your blog for ages and my darling, you just improve and improve with time... I say let us declare war on those bloodsucking little beasts.. eat so much Vitamin B that we taste bitter to them,
rather than plump and delicious... cover ourselves from head to toe to deny them, swat swat SWAT to our hearts content. Die mozzie die!
xxS

Anoop said...

Lol cover ourselves from head to toe, had me in splits.... you know what you are asking for? Peace in this world. All covered would mean, Taliban and such regimes would have no problem with anyone and that means, Bush can finally stop blaming Osama Bin Laden for anything and everything.

Well GG, do continue blogging even when you become the richest person on earth. ;)

Anonymous said...

dear Guyana Gyal,
in spite of these threats we are relying on you to stick with your vampire slaying plans! you go Gyal! do not be intimidated. otherwise, as anoop reminds us the taliban will eagerly take over.

that is a good point anoop.
although if musharaf & coy finally capture osama i can imagine a few people will sleep a bit easier in pakistan [and the rest of the world]

When I am being attacked by mosquitoes I wish I had some firepower ha ha ha


now, sarah, where did i put that Vit. B
.......

keep on blogin' GG

kind regards,
Kanga Roo

Cami said...

Hey...dis eyepass thing getting out of hand. I join with all humans to declare war on Ozzie and the MU (Mosquitos United). By the way if they are not unionised, a strike means diddly...pls tell him that...VERY GOOD PIECE G-gal...there is always food for thought. By the way pls do go and see 'A Bug's Life'. It guarantees fun and lots of laughs.

kungfu mama said...

but eh-eh, we got we own personal lake going on back hey wey i wukking...it name after we boss Lake L-----. and if you see masquiiiitttaaaaaa....oh me mamamaaa...it got plenty plenty..if people come in we office dem gon tink we mad cause we slapping weself...an we boss know we name de lake afta he..i tell he...that Lake L----- need cleaning..one day we see fish all swimming an ducks an birds having a nice party...with the masquitas dem

Guyana-Gyal said...

Sarah luv, as long as you're having fun in Adelaide, that's the best thing.

[Hey Kanga Roo, Sarah is now in your topsy turvy land down under...got any good words for her? Oh Sarah, I know...he'd tell you not to go to Canberra...dullsville, he'll say].

Truly? Vitamin B keeps your blood unappetising to mozzies? How about unions?

Vitamin B...I must check which foods have that...

Anoop...now that's ironic...how the taliban would achieve "peace". By covering us all.

Some men here who would love to see women 'put in their places'. Talk about Dumb men!

D'you know, in the Caribbean we have a thing called bush medicine. That's what those Dumb men need!

Kanga Roo...with the mozzies forming unions and so on, I might be put out of business, I don't know, I don't know...

I might have to go back to craft, sewing...I can't see beads and needles and fabric forming unions against me.

Kanga Roo, if they catch osama and the rest of 'em I can imagine many women will sleep a lot easier.

Cami...A Bug's Life? A new movie?

Hey, Kung Fu Mama, you can show your boss my business idea, start one over there, call it Camp Mozzie.

Y'all people don't know? ANYTHING if marketted correctly can make $$.

kungfu mama said...

ha...we can try marketing we boss, but i doan tink anybody gon wan de gringo....hahhaaa..leh we sen he to Camp Mozzie nah?

Anonymous said...

i have been told that adelaide is a beautiful city.
kind regards,
Kanga Roo

Guyana-Gyal said...

Sarahhhh...yoo hooo...how's Adelaide treatin' you?