This is a story based on true-true scientific fact! It is the tale of how the Giant Sloth produce children that end up looking suspiciously like people. If you think I lie, come to Guyana and see for yourself.
First of all, lemme clarify…yes…there used to be Giant Sloths, fifteen feet tall! I know this because of the Giant Sloth that stand in we museum in Georgetown, living proof for all to see.
According to the tale, a man in recent times was digging up in we Mazaruni River. Suddenly, he come upon a huge-mongous thigh bone.
Well, as the medical students of the University of the West Indies used to sing at their concert, “The thigh bone is connected to the knee bone is connected to the leg bone.” Upon further digging, the man, or maybe the people that he inform, find the rest of the bones. The bone diggers assemble everything according to the song.
And now, as I say, The Giant Sloth stand as living-proof in we museum.
What the science people don’t know though is why the Giant Sloth die out.
But I can tell you why.
I know because people who work in gardens does say that when a tree bear too much fruit at one go, it overburden itself and dead-out.
The Giant Sloth, eons ago, finding itself in this tropical paradise, been so excited, it went forth and multiply with vim and vigour, probably like a rabbit too. It had so many children, it didn’t know what to do, it overburden itself and dead-out.
Over time, evolution take place. Many, many of the sloth children started to look like people. They went forth and find chairs to rest in, (note, some call it ‘work’, but we all know, sloths don’t work) in utility places and so on and so forth.
If you think I lie, come with me to we telephone company.
The first sloth I encounter there sit on me application for a phone, couldn’t punch in the information into the pooter.
The second sloth, slow-slow, like molasses crawling in Siberia-snow, flick through a file. “I don’t know when you gon get the phone,” she drawl, eyes drooping with sleep, like she want to go and hibernate in the Mazaruni River with she ancestor. “You will just have to wait. Your application is being processed.”
I hope it ain’t a sloth that is hatching that application. Without a phone, I can’t get Internet.
So, Dear People, here me is, waiting, too sloth-like to have a proper revolution, to bear placards, shout, pelt and protest like what energetic people do on the news.